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June 11, 2010


I don't remember the exact circumstances in which I wrote the poem that I'm posting below. I know they weren't easy. Today as I saw these short sentences hanging on my bulletin board, I realized that it sums up what is happening to me yet again. God is sifting, testing, challenging me. Am I really willing to count everything a loss compared to knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord? Jesus' words to Peter in John 21 echo in my ears, over and over again: "What is that to you? You follow me."

Elizabeth Elliot quotes Lilias Trotter in one of her books:
"So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never grasped the its true meaning: that is not worthy of the name for "no polluted thing" can be offered.
The life lost on the Cross was not a sinful one--the treasure poured forth there was God-given, God-blessed treasure, lawful and right to be kept: only that there was the life of the world at stake."
What God asks me to give up may not be inherently sinful or wrong. What is important is that He asks it of me. Will I give it to Him who gave all for me? Am I content to offer Jesus easy things, things that have cost me nothing? Or do I want what He wants, no matter the cost?


it's the dying of a dream
the killing of a heart
the stealing of a hope and
i only understand in part.

it's the test of my sincerity
an exam on what i've learned
a measure of my sanctity
will my heart be truly turned?

it's up-showing my own wisdom
replacing my own strength
pushing out my human love for
one that knows no length

it's taking me much deeper
it's pulling me far in
it's ridding me of yesterdays
it's purging me of sin.


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